Paul and Janel met online in early January, with Paul messaging Janel late on January 3rd, 2024. Janel shared her real name with Paul on Friday, and thus Paul and Janeal became a thing. Their conversation picked up significantly on Saturday, with both sending messages upwards of 2000 words and taking several hours to write.

They went through mediums quickly; messaging, e-mail, video, texting, phone, and by the following Sunday, simultaneously asked each other about meeting in person. Due to schedules, January 20th was the date set, with Edmonds as the location.

While in Edmonds, Paul and Janeal spent about 10 hours together; Janeal was also able to meet Paul's girls, Linnea and Lilia, and his mother-in-law, Gayle Shriner. During the course of the day, they noticed how comfortable they were with each other, how easy conversation was, how much they enjoyed laughing, and how they were comfortable simply quietly standing next to each other. At lunch, the official decision to exclusively date was made, with very clear indications of mutual interest towards marriage.

Paul and Janeal began talking a lot, mostly through texting all day and video calls in the evenings. Janeal had to work at balancing an already full schedule with a now serious boyfriend, but managed to make quite a bit of time to talk. Paul went up to Bellingham to meet her parents in early February, and spent another day with Janeal, with a lot of hiking and walking. They also played frisbee for the first time together on Sunday.

Paul drove up again to take Janeal out on Valentine's Day - a very special and memorable day for both of them, but especially Janeal - and accidentally got permission to marry Janeal through e-mailing her parents, Garth and Bonnie, in the following days.

After several more visits - Janeal visiting Paul and the girls in Oregon, then Paul's family in CA - Paul asked Janeal to marry him on April 6th, to which Janeal earnestly shouted "YES!"

Throughout their relationship, both the provision and providence of God has been shown in so many ways, both large and small, and both Paul and Janeal recognize the hand of God in not just bringing them together, but in preparing them for each other through their prior life experiences. The Father is a giver of good gifts, and today is not just a celebration of marriage, but an expression of gratefulness to the Giver of all good things for giving Paul and Janeal to each other.

(the pictures above were our main online profile pictures)

Paul's Profile: I am a dedicated Christian, a widower, father of two daughters, musician software engineer, and mediocre hobby farmer (I blame the deer).

I enjoy living in this rural area, spending time with my kids, working on the farm, playing sports, serving in music in our church, and - last not not least - drinking coffee.

I am looking for marriage, not casual dating. I want someone to love (and be loved by), to enjoy life with, to be a mother figure to my daughters, and to server in the local church with.

Music is a big part of my life; musically, my taste is mostly classical (Romantic period, in particular), folk music, and modern hymnody (including contemporary music styles), as well as some contemporary music (including Christian groups such as Sovereign Grace Music, Matt Papa, or Matt Boswell.)

Janel's Profile: My Casual Side: love to laugh, get outside with a group for ultimate frisbee, watch sunrises, go for long runs

My Serious Side: be super disciplined with all areas of life, think and analyze the issues around me, avoid following the crowd, strive to have all of life honor the Lord Jesus who mercifully saved, sovereignly called, and eternally keeps me as His own.

Paul: I messaged "Janel" on January 3rd. I saw her on the dating app on the 1st, but deliberated for a while; I assumed she was probably getting a lot of messages, and I also viewed messaging as a pretty big deal, and wanted to be as sure as I could. I think I didn't see her on eHarmony because of some of her preferences. We started out messaging in-app, but moved to e-mail by Sunday. I was pretty worried about how long my messages were, but she messaged back just as long!

Janeal: Naturally I stalked him to figure out his last name. He was pretty easy to find online, since I knew his job and city, and I ended up stumbling across the memorial service for his first wife, Katharyn. As I watched, with Mom and Dad peering over my shoulder, I felt like I jumped deep into his personal story. Seeing this man alone with his two girls in that front empty pew, felt so incredibly lacking and wrong. This man became a very real person to me after that. He was no longer a guy from online who had sent me a message. He was Paul Ellsworth. I wanted to get to know him.

Paul: I suggested e-mail on Sunday, because our messages were getting so long and pretty unwieldy in ChristianMingle or eHarmony! But, on Sunday, we both spent several hours writing e-mails to each other. I hesitated to ask for a video call, since I had just asked about e-mailing, but decided to offer either phone or video. I was really excited with her response - "I would really like to do a video call with you!" We set the date for Tuesday, January 9th.

Janeal: I was relieved when Paul emailed to ask about a video call. His email popped into my inbox as I was writing an email to him trying to nicely explain I couldn't spend so long writing out novels even though I wanted to. It was like he read my thoughts! I was excited to fit a video call in asap! That asap happened to be the next evening.

Paul: The first video call was really fun! It was really easy to talk to her, and we filled two hours quite quickly... and started a very consistent tradition of me having difficulty saying goodnight. Janeal explained that she was visiting her brother and his family in Florida that weekend, so the next video call would have to be the following week, and suggested Friday, January 19th. I was pretty sad about this, because I thought it also meant that we likely wouldn't be able to talk a whole lot while she was gone.

I wanted to start texting, but I wasn't sure if I should ask or just text out of the blue. I had her phone number, provided in case it was needed for logistics for the video call...

Janeal: With my travels coming up, I decided it was going to be a lot easier to talk over texting instead of email. I had his number already and he had mine, but we hadn't texted. I also didn't want to be the one who started the conversation. So I emailed some sort of round about request about preferring text to continue to communicate. Shortly after sending the email, a text from Paul popped up on my phone.

Paul: I actually was going to e-mail and ask if I could text her when I got the e-mail that said she would prefer it! Subsequently, I had no idea how much I should text her. I talked a lot to my sister, Bethany, about how texting works...

Janeal: When I had originally booked my flight I was a little disappointed with how long my layover was. I really don't like long layovers. After the trip, I learned I can really like long layovers. Paul wanted to know my flight information. He said I could call him whenever if I had down time. I did that... both. Well, first I texted him for around an hour when I arrived to the airport. Then I talked to him on my layover for a couple hours. Then I texted him when I got to my destination and then because FL was hours ahead and my hosts were asleep, I texted lots more that evening. That was one of my fastest, most fun travel days to FL ever! I wanted to tell this guy everything, send him pictures of my nieces and nephews, narrate my experience of sitting in an aisle row, show him what FL looked like, tell him I passed a random piano in the airport...

Paul: I was shocked with how much Janeal began texting! Especially more or less pictures and texts about all of what she was doing throughout Saturday. And then we talked on the phone every day except Saturday... for hours! So much for not communicating much =)

On Sunday, we both simultaneously asked each other, in texting, about meeting in person. We talked more about it on Monday, while she was in her layover in Texas, and set a date of January 20th - that Saturday! - because that's when our schedules aligned such that we could do it in the next couple weeks and not wait until February.

Paul: I was really excited and nervous to meet Janeal; I didn't sleep very well, and woke up really early and impatiently waited. I wanted to go outside to wait for her, but made myself wait until 10-15 minutes before she was supposed to arrive. When she got there, I awkwardly said that I wasn't sure if I should give her a hug or a handshake.

Janeal: I was very excited for this day. I don't think I slept that well. I also remember feeling bad saying that I was hoping to leave at 6am but then not actually leaving until 7am. My excuse was that our long gravel driveway was still quite full of melting slush and the entire household had to ride with me to the end of the road in case I got stuck and needed someone to push me out.

I first saw Paul from inside my car. That's when I got some nerves along with my excitement. My nerves disappeared pretty quickly though. I also informed him I didn't want to shake hands since it would make it feel too much like a business meeting.

Paul: As the day progressed, I was struck by how easy it was to be with her. I was very comfortable talking with her, walking with her, even eating with her... and, perhaps most surprising of all, standing in silence with her. It wasn't awkward; it was nice. I really liked being with her. We had our official "DTR" at MOD Pizza, with me drawing out the relationship timeline on a napkin with my fingernail (we wish we kept the napkin!). We agreed that the next step was exclusive dating, and that we both really wanted to do that... and both indicated that we were definitely thinking ahead of that, too. I was again struck by how pretty Janeal's eyes were, and had a hard time believing they were looking at me.

I also, at this point, had decided that I could spend the rest of my life with this woman. I just loved being with her.

Janeal: By the end of the day, I was surprised again with how comfortable I was with this "stranger." I had spent the entire day with him. I also had blisters on my feet from my shoes. I was happy with how intentional he was to keep spending time with me throughout the day (as opposed to doing stuff with the girls). He seemed to like walking too which I saw as a bonus. And he didn't even think twice about paying for the food/coffees we got. It was another big step in my journey that confirmed I liked this man.

Paul: After lunch, we continued our walking (I think we took the same walk in Edmonds three times!). I was happy just walking and talking with her. Towards the evening, we stood on the little beach near the ferry and just watched the ocean and sunset, and I was struck by how comfortable and nice it was to just quietly stand next to her, without saying anything.

Janeal: We had decided the next combination for visiting would be for Paul to visit Bellingham and meet my family. I had fun planning all the activities and places that I wanted to introduce him to!

Paul: I was actually really excited about meeting the Arnharts. I was surprised, though, at how comfortable and at-home I felt when I first walked in the door and met Garth and Bonnie. It felt very comfortable, and I was quite at-ease, and really enjoyed talking with them.

As it turned out, the truck wouldn't start when I went back to take it to where I was staying! I had stopped in Vancouver, WA to get cleats, but drove straight from there to Bellingham (skipping dinner!) because I wanted to get there as quickly as I could. Apparently, God wanted me to not stop so that I wouldn't get stuck on the way!

Janeal: Paul's truck not working really didn't slow us down. We just took my car and I made him drive. I filled up Saturday with four different walks. I think he was encouraged at one point, after we had been climbing the side of a mountain for several minutes, that I was breathing hard too. I didn't mean all my trails to be a "endurance/hiking test," but he passed! This time he got a blister.

Paul: I had to borrow socks and bandaids (well, I didn't borrow the bandaids) for my blister; I hadn't thought about taking tall socks, and only had ankle socks, but had hiking shoes on. I also kept one of the bandaids on for something around a week, and then saved it after it came off. This also became a running joke - that Janeal sabotaged the truck so I couldn't go home so soon. I was kinda hoping for this myself, actually... I had even brought my work laptop, so it would have been okay. :)

I met all of the Washington Arnharts, and really enjoyed spending time with Janeal's siblings siblings-in-law as well, and the impromptu music session on Sunday afternoon after frisbee.

(side note; it was the first time I'd played frisbee in about 5 years!)

Janeal: My plan was to introduce him to the family gradually instead of all at once. We did a breakfast with two siblings and their families and then a lunch with two other siblings and their families. All of us at once can be a little overwhelming. As it turned out, he was able to stay longer than I had thought on Sunday so he did get to experience all of us together in one place... and we were jamming with music. He played his accordion and I had to admit it was kinda cool. I loved the combination that evening: my family, music, and my Paul!

Paul: I had decided that I really wanted to take Janeal out on Valentine's Day, so I had asked her about that. She said she had decided that it wouldn't be possible to do something in person, but she'd like to do something. I said that I would like to drive up (after playing music at an event on the 13th)... which she was really happy about!

Janeal: I had resigned to not being in person on Valentine's Day even though I had a very specific restaurant in mind that I had always imagined going with a date to. When Paul asked if Valentine's Day was important to me and said he could come up, I was thrilled! Of course this called for a new dress and while I was at it, I decided it would be really fun to get him a matching shirt. It was more fun to shop for that (and I like clothes shopping for myself)! The evening was everything I had dreamed of!

Janeal: I headed down to Oregon in late February to spend some time with Paul and the girls, doing somewhat "normal" life, and also to come for the "sing-along" that Paul had organized. I also was going to visit his church for the first time and be introduced. This was the first time I had driven that far by myself. I was really happy to arrive and be done with traffic. The first item on the schedule was visiting a waterfalls place, Saturday morning.

Paul: As it turned out, Lilia got sick on Saturday and was throwing up in the morning, so we didn't end up going to Silver Falls (still on the list of things to do!) But we had a really good time just hanging out with each other and enjoying the nice weather. Going to church and our small group with Janeal was really nice, too, and having her meet various church friends down here. And the sing-along was really fun to have her here for!

Janeal: I think the key takeaway from this trip was that I felt incredibly comfortable. It was almost weird because it felt so natural for me to be there, that there wasn't really anything for me to "process" once I got home. And I had a lot of processing time once I returned, since I got Lilia's flu. Paul got it 10 minutes after I drove off and I got it that night. It is sort of romantic to be sick at the same time.

Paul: It felt very whole and complete, for me... like being a whole family. Janeal just seemed completely right here. I think the girls thought so, too; they showed Janeal a lot of affection (it was basically the first time she had really spent time with them) very quickly.

Paul: Janeal flew down to meet my parents around the time of both my dad's and my birthdays. It was really fun to have her where I grew up (and, in the general area, spent the majority of my life), and especially to meet the family down there - my parents and my oldest brother and his wife. We also were able to have a special date on my birthday down in Carmel, which was really fun and memorable (and is where the picture comes from!)

Janeal: When I first learned Paul's birthday (which I found out indirectly and instantly memorized), I resolved I really wanted to celebrate it with him in-person. But then I realized it was in the middle of the week. My work gave me time off though and I was thrilled to celebrate his birthday with him. (We even sneaked in some ring shopping at Tiffany's in Carmel.) I wished him happy birthday over and over, but I don't think he got tired of it. I also said and thought that the day was so much fun, it felt more like my birthday.

I enjoyed meeting his family and seeing the house he grew up in! I also managed to trip and scrape my knee within minutes of arriving. (I can't remember the last time I did that...oh well) We both enjoyed telling his parents our detailed story of how we met. It made me feel like such a couple. Filling in each other's view and sentences.

Janeal: After doing our initial ring shopping in Carmel, we agreed that I was going to have to pick out my own and likely without Paul. So I started shopping when I had some free time. I also had to try to figure out what styles I liked. I've never had something specific in my mind, but I've always liked more unique, statement jewelry. Mom joined me one Saturday afternoon to visit a local jeweler. I specifically asked to see the rose gold pieces he had. After trying several on, I came back to one that had a rose hinted diamond in it. When I found out it was absolutely an option to customize it and build some leafy vines onto it as a wedding band, I was sold. At the end I learned the guy's name was Paul.

Paul: It was really hard to plan a surprise engagement, given that she knew I wanted to get engaged as soon as she was ready and that we were only going to be together two weekends in April (and it's not like I was going to wait to mid-April!). I worked with her mom and family to plan out the surprise - the girls would be with me that weekend, so they would need to be watched, and I thought it'd be nice for a family celebration afterwards since I figured Janeal would like that. The girls were able to help with some of the decorations, and were "in" on the secret ... as well as a special "butterfly box" present. I started planning a couple weeks ahead of time...

Janeal: I brought Paul the ring when I took the train down to Oregon in the first weekend of April. I had also told him earlier that I would be ready for engagement in April. I also had reserved my wedding venue (which meant I knew the date) and I had my wedding dress already. All that to say, it was almost impossible to surprise me. But Paul did a really good job at it still since he knew it was what I wanted. Since I had taken the train to Oregon and didn't have a car, I was able to ride up to Bellingham with Paul and the girls. That weekend was the first weekend for the girls to be in Bellingham. One event we had planned awhile ago was a ceremony to celebrate the end of winter quarter for me. I had told Paul I wanted to "dropkick" my textbook into the ocean. I also a specific song I wanted playing as a did it. I knew we were going to celebrate this on Saturday, but I wasn't sure the exact details and I didn't feel like pressing him too hard in case there was more we were doing than just that. I did learn however that we were going to the water to do the dropkick thing and then coming back home. Okay, I thought, I won't worry about dressing up yet...

The sun came out and we ended up at the ocean where we had already been once before. Paul even brought a speaker for the dropkick music request I had made. I actually had used a digital textbook that quarter, so I used a loaf of bread for my "textbook." Paul videoed me doing the full on ceremony and had even brought two confetti tubes for us to explode.

After that, we did a little dancing. I was having fun and sorta wondering if he was going to ask me the question. A bit into dancing, he said he had something for me and hadn't wrapped it.... hm... he went to his bag and pulled out...earrings! Okay.

At this point I was torn between thinking that this was the actual perfect moment to propose but trying to not dwell on that to avoid disappointment in case he was planning to do it later.

We kept dancing. I was turned away from his bag now. He said he had forgotten something and went back to his bag. I decided to not turn around and watch. When he came back, he was holding the ring box and I knew. The moment I had hoped for so long had arrived. I screamed and hugged him and cried and thanked the Lord out loud for answering my prayer and giving me a husband after my long years of waiting.

Yes, Paul, yes!!! I love you. I want to be your wife for the rest of my life!

Paul: Even though we both knew that we wanted to get engaged, I was still really excited to be engaged, and cried with her as we thanked the Lord for His faithfulness and provision and answer to prayers... and was also looking forward to the further surprises with the family party :) I love you, Janeal, and am so excited to be your husband and for you to be my wife!